Never Underestimate A Two Year Old

I think Trenton, who is now 7, snuck Caitlyn some sugar yesterday, because she was one wild cat!

It all began when Trenton went and got my fingernail polish that he got me for mothers day and asked me if I wanted to paint my nails, and of course I did. However, now that I have a little girl, she wants her little nails painted too. So I painted hers first with the color that she got me for mothers day, and I finished, put the top back on the bottle (tightly, I might add), and handed her the bottle to play with (like I always do). I thought, there is no way she can open the bottle by herself....WRONG....WRONG.....WRONG.....I was painting my toes, and this is as far as I got....

when little Miss Caitlyn shoved her little finger in my face, showing me that she had painted her nail, all by herself. Yes, people...she opened the bottle, all by her little self. So I quickly glanced around for bottle of fingernail polish that she had, when I seen it spilled all over our brand new couch. I immediately jumped into action, picking up the bottle, and grabbing her baby wipes to clean up the mess. Unbeknownst she is behind me pulling the wipes one by one out of the container and throwing them all over the living room floor. I then grabbed the wipes away from her, and continued to try and get the purple stain out of my brand new couch, while Trenton goes and gets the Clorox wipes. I told him I didn't need the Clorox wipes to take them back, but do you think he listened? NOPE.... He gave them to Caitlyn, who decided that she would try and pull all of them out too, except for one little problem....She got her hand stuck in the bottle. SOOO.... I had to pry her hand out of that, while wading in baby wipes, and trying to clean up the big purple blob on the couch, that wasn't coming out!
I decided to ask my sister if she knew how to get fingernail polish out of a couch, so she said ''shaving cream''....well it just so happens.... I have shaving cream! I run to the bathroom grab a can, and squirt some on the couch and start scrubbing, and I am really going at it, and I reach around to grab some more.... but guess who has it? None other than Miss Caitlyn, who surprise, surprise, is squirting it all over my other couch! I snatch it from her, clean it up, and take it straight back to my bathroom out of her little exploring hands. And when I come back into the living room, she has the VHS tapes out, unwrapping them like Christmas presents!

So... the lesson is.... NEVER, under any circumstance, underestimate a two year old!

Tall Tales

Well isa just have to tell you the story about my granny. Now my granny aint no crow you wanna pick with. She is a nice lady, it's just she likes to mind her own business. Well one day she was doing just that and minding her own business taking a little stroll in her back yard. Now her back yard is her little cubby hole...why there is everything back ar, even the least expected. I never suspected that she'd see what she saw, why it being such a quiet little spot and all, but she did and from what I hear it was quit big.....

It all started when my granny decided she'd go out to her bird feeder and check to see if the poor little birds needed some more food. She never once thought that she might be the food for something else, she just walked right on out there in the yard...well she got to about the little bush on the corner of her porch when she heard a little something, but she paid it no mind. Just keep in mind, my granny is a brave little ol' woman, and she walked on out a little further not looking ahead....why she walked right up to it, almost stepped on his foot!

Ahhh, you should seen her, I never seen such a brave woman hurry so fast to get back inside, why she jumped clean over the porch rail and scurried on in the house, she didn't even go around to where the steps where, she prolly wouldn't have made it anyhow, her being so scared and all....She rushed to my grandpa, which by the way was taking a nap and she started screaming at him, but he was mighty deaf so he didn't pay her any attention...why he coulda slept through the whole thing if sheda hadn't took that shotgun and fired it, why she shot a hole plum through the roof. My grandpa jumped to his feet screaming "WOMAN, what in jusifer are you doing with a rifle"??? My granny tried explainin' but my grandpa just laughed. My granny's still mad to this day and sometimes she still says to my grandpa "you'da let that bear eat me, caus you woulda been asleep".

Well that sorta reminds me of the time when I thought I was bigger than my britches. I was about 7 or 8, and thought I knew everything. I never was much into girly things, like dolls and those funny misshaped barbies. I was more into the great outdoors and fishing, oh and I loved to go camping. My daddy always took me and we'd go fishing on the river at night, well I got to thinking one night while my daddy was asleep.... I could take the boat out by myself... I was big enough...and besides he'd never know. So off I went, but first of all I had to ''sneak'' out of the tent. It was nothing really, I mean I might have accidently stepped on a little something that my daddy needed in order to have any more kids, but I swear if I wouldn't have done that, I would have gotten to go fishing all by myself.

Ohh but then there is the time when me and my friend Jessie went fishing. She wasn't much into the whole idea, but I drug her along hoping she'd get into it so id have me a fishing buddy, but I really don't think she wants to go back, but all the more fish for me to catch right?....Ohh yea, getting back to my story.... I decided I would take Jessie with me to the annual fishing tournament held down in Speedwell. It took me a while to find an extra fishing pole, but I found one...oh did I find one... It was my pole from when I was little, it was bright orange. I loved that pole, but sense she was my best friend, I could lend it to her. We finally got there and we found us a spot to fish, and from the looks Jessie was giving me, I assumed she had never been fishing before, but she assured me that she had, so I let her take care of putting on the bait by herself. We were using that orange trout bait that comes in those really cool jars...Well she put the bait on her hook, and seemed to have done a good job, so I let her be so she could cast and I walked down the creek a little ways from her....Well, I had just enough time to bait my hook and cast when I looked up at Jessie and she was hollering and making such a fuss, yelling about how there was a snake in the creek! So up the river I started after her, but as I was almost to her to take a look, she changed her story and said it was just her bait that it had somehow stretched out to be the length of a snake....Now IM pretty sure most of ya'll are confused, well so was I! I couldn't figure out how that was possible, mostly because the bait was orange...So I decided to take a look at this soo called stretched out bait for myself, so I laid my pole down once again and started walking up the river towards her....when I look up and notice that she is holding this tiny little pole in her hands...and I know that I had that pole when I was a kid, but I also know it wasn't that short...and as I got closer I realized that her snake/stretched out bait was actually the other half of my bright orange fishing pole...Turns out the poor girl cant fish, nothing to be ashamed of, only thing is I need a new buddy to go fishing with now.

Redman, Coffee, and Oatmeal Pies

Everytime I close my eyes,
I can see you and your oatmeal pies.
You loved them with your morning, mid-day, and evening coffee.
You would eat them while watching Obama, Osama, and Moammar Gadhafi.
CNN, was your favorite station to get the news,
And in the winter, you'd be eating one of Maw's famous stews.
The holidays wont ever be the same,
But I'll always remember you and I watching John Wayne.
You never once called me Sheena, it was always simply ''Bug''
And one thing you taught me was to eat my grits and never drink straight outta the buttermilk jug.
And even though, I liked neither, I never complained
because you taught me that too, and you could always keep me entertained.
You told the best childhood stories and hunting tales.
You was one of the greatest hunters I knew and taught me how to follow the blood trails.
I remember when I was little and I tried your Redman
I wanted to be just like you and spit in a can.
Redman, coffee, and oatmeal pies, on earth, it was just a few of your favorite things
but now your up in heaven playing God the most beautiful music on harp strings.
Your family was your pride and joy and you loved us all with all you had.
You was a great husband, brother, dad, and uncle, but most of all my grand''dad''.


You was the best man I have ever met and I will miss you my beloved paw... Rest in Peace
9/11/11

Lifes too short

My brother said something to me a few nights ago that has stuck with me... He said ''lifes too short to be mad". I've heard other people say this before, but hearing it from my intellegent all knowing brother, made me really think about it. I am not an angry person and I think before I speak and I try with everything inside me to keep my opinions to myself. I pray for those that upset me and I try not to let what they say bother me. However, it is human nature to get upset if you hear someone talking about you, but thats their opinions and me and God know the truth about me. Whats important to me is not others' opinions of me, but whats important to me is my opinion of myself and I like myself. I think I have a pretty good heart, I love with all my heart and I care deeply about others, even those that cause me grief and pain because that is what God would expect from me and I expect it from myself.  I dont like confrontation, nor do I like to argue. I think an arguement is a waste of my valuable time. Dont get me wrong, there are some people that are worth the arguement.... but lets face it.... the majority of the people in your life just simply arent worth it. SOOO I completly 100% agree with my brothers statement. Life is just too short to be mad. Live your life how you want to, but be proud of the person that you are. If you wake up in the morning and your not happy with yourself, do something about it. If someone dont like who you are, that is their problem and thats their time they are wasting thinking about it and judging you. Dont waste yours worrying about what they said about you. You only have one life, live it! And Remember to love your parents, we are so busy growing up and living our lives that we often forget that they are growing old.

Fingernails, Iced Tea, and Brownies

Prenatal Vitamins from being pregnant recently has enabled me to have some super long fingernails...
I have always been able to grow them, but my nails seem stronger and healthier than ever before. Well... I recently decided that sense my nails are so healthy, strong, and lets face it, beautiful, that I would paint my nails. I mulled over the color for days and kept going back and forth between two colors, a blue, or a bright pink, and then I ultimately went with a mauve at last minute. The deciding factor was that the mauve was fast drying, and with 2 kids, thats my kind of nail polish! So I painted them, and they are looking pretty good, until all of a sudden... they start breaking. I dont understand it, I thought the polish would make them harder to break, but it had quite the opposite effect. So then I start thinking about it... and just about everytime I have painted my fingernails in my life, that is what has happened. I do believe that somehow the polish kills my nails and makes them weak. So... I do believe that I should leave what God gave me alone and not try to spice things up with a little polish. Oh and did I mention that the mauve fingernail polish was my Maws, who by the way, was talking about Iced Tea while I was painting my nails, and it made me start thinking about how I cant make tea. Its the weirdest thing... I thought for the longest time, it was the brand i was buying... but its not. I can buy the exact same brand that anyone else buys and their tea is good, and mine tastes like discustingness. I dont exactly know what I am doing wrong. I boil the water, put the tea bags in, add sugar and ice... and viola...NOT! I have added more sugar, not added enough, tried more tea bags, tried less, I DO NOT get it. Soooo I gave up... McDonalds makes some pretty good tea, so when i have a good craving for it, i just fork up the cash, its better than loosing my mind trying to figure this tea thing out. And speaking of not being able to make stuff.... I have never been able to make brownies. The instructions are clearly on the box... but for some reason... my brownies are always hard as a rock, except the one time when i cooked them for 3 hours and they would not get done, they was so runny! I have wasted a lot of my time attempting to make brownies. Its sad when your younger brother has to make brownies for you, but I dont mind.... he makes the best! OHHH which reminds me of the time I tried to make dirt, but that is a story that should be saved for a rainy day.

Roller Coaster

Ahh... The Roller Coaster of life.... Isn't it funny how sometimes we are at a point in our lives when everything is up and going great, then everything comes crashing down. This is what I would call the roller coaster effect. When we are brought into this world as a mere child, we depend solely on our parents, to feed us, protect us, love us, nurture us.... i could go on but you get the picture.... We haven't a worry in the world, basically because we don't even know what that is yet, but parents try so hard to shield children from the hardships of life. And I am thinking this is not the correct approach.... YES, children should not have to worry about anything, but maybe it would be okay to let kids know that things aren't always okay. Its okay to see a parent have a bad day. Its okay to see them cry. Children should know that life isn't easy and they need to know that being a kid should be enjoyed more because once they get in the real world, its not all fun and games. I hear kids all the time saying "I wish I was an adult" or "I cant wait to get my drivers license". I just want to shake them! Real life is hard....Being an adult doesn't mean that you don't have to obey your parents anymore, or that you can come and go as you please. Yes, that's usually what happens... BUT, Being an adult means you have to grow up, you have to start paying bills, keeping a job to pay those bills, and working so hard that fun time is gone! All your money is spent on bills, and even if you had the time to go out and do something fun... Guess What? Your rent is due. And driving... Its really not that fun. Once you have been driving for a while, you realize that its really not all its cracked up to be. Its a lot of responsibility. First, there is the insurance that you have to pay every month in order to drive... Second, there is the up keep of your vehicle... tires, spark plugs, oil changes, inspections, not to mention if anything ever goes wrong... And Then there is the car payment... unless you get a junker, which is back to my second point... which will probably inevitably lead to something going wrong.... SOOOO I could go on and on.... but basically its simple.... Life is a roller coaster and children need to slow down and enjoy their childhood with the knowledge that one day, childhood will be over and once it is, you cant go back.... So now i just need to figure out how to get my 5 year old to not want to grow up so quickly because if I hear him say "I cant wait till I'm old enough to drive" one more time I think I could pull out my hair.... I guess I'll just have to explain how the roller coaster works.

Just a little venting...

Things that i cannot stand or creep me out:

Clowns- I dont understand how dressing up and making balloon animals is suppose to be fun? It amazes me at how many parents book clowns to come to their childs birthday parties. The question of life.... WHY?

People who dont signal- Why is it so hard for a driver to take a second out of their life and reach over and push the stick up or down to signal? Do they think its funny to see if the person behind them can stop in time or run right into the back of their vehicle?

Germs- When you go to the bathroom, WASH YOUR HANDS PEOPLE! I cannot tell you the number of times I have went into a public restroom and seen people just walk out without washing their hands. Are people in that big of a hurry these days? Or is it just lazy?

Snooze buttons- If you dont want to wake up until 6:30, then dont set your alarm for 5:45! Respect that your husband or wife doesnt want to wake up every 10 minutes just because you like hitting snooze until the last possible minute.

Toddler beauty pagents- Dont get me wrong, the occasional county fair beauty pagent is fine. Its cute. But this crap I have seen on television where parents put hair extensions in their toddlers hair and put makeup on them to the point that they look like little prostitutes... its ridiculous! Those poor little kids are going to need therapy by the time they are 8.

People who dont return their shopping carts- If you cant return your shopping cart to where it belongs, you dont deserve to use it. Id like to see them start punishing people by making them carry all their groceries from the doors to their cars without the luxary of a shopping cart. It would be hilarious to see peoples bags busting all over the parking lot and watching them chase their food around. Then all that laziness from not wanting to walk the extra couple feet to return the cart would pay off. And, at least their carts wouldnt roll into the side of my car.

Please feel free to share your comments on the things that annoy you or creep you out. We live in America people, we have a right to free speech!